| | List |
| Subject: | Re: Divorce: Is it what you expected? |
| Poster: | Gary Duguay |
| Date: | Thu, 22 Mar 2007 21:01:57 EDT |
| Related Postings: | 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 |
>For those that initiated divorce,
>whatever the reasons, did you imagine a better life when you
>divorced?
I thought my life would suck after divorce but it
ended up being much better . If I would have known
about borderlines and bopolars , I would have divorced
much sooner than I did . They have a way of abusing and
victimizing people yet they always find a way to make themselves
look like victims . The one thing I know now is that borderlines and
bipolars never change and end up it divorce for the most part .
If it were up to me , they would all be rounded up and shipped
to an island were they are free to sabotage thier own lives and
the lives of others in thier condition rather than being able to
sabotage thier spouces and children's lives .
wrote in message
news:1174407348.008795.67380@e65g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> Greetings,
>
> I have a question for those people that have been through a divorce,
> specifically for those people that initiated a divorce. I would like
> to first explain the "place" where my question will be coming from. I
> have been married for six years or so and my wife and I have two
> children together. My wife has bipolar disorder and this was
> initially diagnosed a little less than a year ago. About a year and a
> half ago she cheated on me with a co-worker. She claims she was
> drunk. While I believe she was drunk I also believe there were things
> leading up to what I felt would be a potential affair and I repeatedly
> warned her about the flirting she would do. I really have not
> recovered from the pain and it manifests itself in other ways which is
> mainly impatience and anger. She has apologized for it repeatadly and
> I can understand from a certain medical perspective that a drunk,
> bipolar person that doesn't know he/she is bipolar can and will do
> things that are wrong. Ever since she was diagnosed things have been
> a little better in some areas and worse in others. The medications
> make her very sleepy and in my opinion she cannot adequately care for
> our children when she is home with them. A five year old and a three
> year old. They are well behaved kids but in my opinion you cannot
> have kids unsupervised around the house for a few hours while a parent
> is sleeping. For example, kids will be up at 7:00 but she might not
> roll out of bed till 10:00 am. I won't pretend to know what I bipolar
> person goes through because I am not bipolar but at the same time I
> feel that when raising children you can't have excuses as to why they
> are not being supervised. As a result of her being bipolar I never
> know how I am going to be treated when I walk through the door.
> Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder. I think a big part of the
> problems I am having with her is that in my mind I feel that I'm still
> being treated disrespectfully even after I have tried to forgive her
> for adultery. I feel I have cared for her, supported her, and tried
> to help as much as possible but after almost a year of treatment for
> bipolar I feel this is the best it's ever going to get.
>
> I find myself facing questions like, "can I deal with this for the
> rest of my life" and at this point I'm not sure. Actually, I'm sure I
> can but I'm not sure if I want to especially because of the one night
> stand she had with that co-worker. On the flip side I think to myself
> that if I was in that situation being drunk at a party where I was
> attracted to someone could I have made a better decision. I'm 99%
> sure I would have but I really don't know. Realistically, I rarely
> drink alcohol in public so I would never be in such a situation.
> Lately, I find myself picturing what life would be like after a
> divorce and I think the picture I'm painting for myself is a false one
> which brings me to my question. For those that initiated divorce,
> whatever the reasons, did you imagine a better life when you
> divorced? Is divorced life what you expected? I ask this because I
> know that many people that marry do so with ideas in their head about
> what the married life would be like and then they find out the reality
> of it. I would have to imagine the opposite is true for divorce but I
> don't know.
>
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