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Re: Divorce: Is it what you expected?

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Subject: Re: Divorce: Is it what you expected?
Poster: Caseycclremovethispart@cox.net
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2007 20:32:25 -0500
Related Postings: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
somebody said
> and ron.mexico32@yahoo.com made the comment...
>
> >divorce and I think the picture I'm painting for myself is a false one
> >which brings me to my question. For those that initiated divorce,
> >whatever the reasons, did you imagine a better life when you
> >divorced? Is divorced life what you expected? I ask this because I
>
> Not a terribly simple question to answer. I was married for 27 years before I
> divorced. On one hand, I couldn't see anything past a divorce. We go married
> when we were 19 and raised 5 children. As I got into my 40's, the prospect of
> a divorce got dimmer. Simply for the lack of a reason to divorce. There were a
> lot of things I wasn't going to do again. We had survived one another for over
> 20 years, so the worst had to be behind us. And in the message I replied to
> DrLith, I wasn't going to leave my children.
>
>

I had about talked myself into staying out of this thread, but the paragraph below finally suckered me in.
> But I finally did see a brighter future and got divorced. I'm 51, March 13th
> was the fourth anniversay of our divorce, our youngest son is a senior in
> highschool (and will be going to boot camp June 4th), and I'm engaged to a
> girl I used to chase in highschool. My summer vacation of 2002 was a doozy.

Mine too, actually. But I digress ....

My divorce was final on Feb 18, 2002. My son is now in his first year of college. I'm now 52 and probably the happiest I've been in many years. I would have said the same thing last summer - but then I met someone and my life hasn't been the same since. I am not engaged, but I am in a relationship with an incredible woman - I guess we are just a perfect match.

How long after my divorce was it until I thought I did the right thing? The answer is ... about a month. My ex isn't bipolar, but she was diagnosed with some serious mental issues that were not obvious until after we divorced. Looking back, things make more sense now, but I was given no choice but to seek divorce.

I wouldn't go back to my previous existence for anything. About 2 years ago, my ex asked if we could get back together. The mere idea scared the hell out of me - I quickly said no and never looked back.

Back to one of the original questions; I never imagined much of a better life when I divorced. Simply put, I had to divorce her to keep my sanity. I had no illusions of greener grass or a carefree single life - I just wanted to get away from my ex and the hell she was putting me through.

Casey

 

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